Six ways to make people like you

• People are interested in themselves - morning, noon, after dinner
• We are interested in others when they are interested in us

• People who smile tend to … raise better children
• Force yourself to smile in the mirror

• Name = sweetest and most important word in any language
• Name = compliment
• Mispel/forget = bad 1st impression
• Napoleon the Third - asked how it’s spelled or asked again, wrote it down, read a few time

• “Few human beings are proof against the implied flattery of rapt attention”
• Works well in business, but even in family
• Show people you love them by stopping what you’re doing and listening 100%
• To be interesting, be interested in others

• Roosevelt had always studied his guests the night before. He found the topic they liked and talked about it with passion (boats)
• “I know how you can make a decent money”

• “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Jesus in Luke 6:31
• Every day, pay compliment to common people (e.g. nice hair at the post office)
• “The deepest principle in human nature is the crawling to be appreciated” W. James
• “I am sorry to trouble you” or “Would you mind…” or “Thank you”
• Almost anyone is superior to you in some way. Recognise it.
• “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours” Disraeli

How to win people to you way of thinking

• Don’t argue with storyteller, it will make him feel uncomfortable
• Don’t be argumentative, avoid it at all cost
• “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still”
• A: You’re competitor is better. B: Sure it is.
• “If you contradict you may achieve victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory. You won’t get your opponent’s good will” Benjamin Franklin
• How to prevent argument?
• Welcome disagreement
• Keep calm
• Control your temper
• Listen first
• Do not disturb
• Admit errors
• Promise to think it over
• Thank them

• “Be wiser than other people if you can. But do not tell them so” Lord Chesterfield
• “I may be wrong. Let’s examine the facts.”
• Benjamin Franklin has stopped using “Certainly, frankly” and replaced it with “Imagine, conceive”

• His story: Policeman only wanted to feel important. By talking first and admitting his fault, Carnegie was shown mercy
• Any fool can defend his mistakes, but only master can admit them

• “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon” Abraham Lincoln

• Start by listing what he agrees on and prevent them from saying “No”
• “Don’t you think that…?”
• Socrates method: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes -> conclusion

• They know more about their business and problems than you do
• Prepare their list of acknowledgements and let them talk
• “If you want enemies, excel your friends, but if you want friends, let your friends excel you” La Rochefoucauld

• Make suggestions and let the others do the conclusions
• Nobody likes to be sold, let them buy
• If you’re interested in results, give them even credit for the idea

• People may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so.
• “If I were them, how and why would I think what I think?”

• “I don’t blame you for” or “If I were you, I would feel the same”
• “ I sympathise with you and I know it won’t be easy”

• Everyone has two motives for doing things: real and noble one
• People are honest and want to discharge their obligations

• Use different subjects to support your speech (throw pennies on the floor, etc.)

• Stimulate competition, but not in money-driven way
• Use the game to prove one’s worth, to excel, to win

Be a leader. How to change people without giving offence